Saturday, November 19, 2011

I am not a mouse.

Do you hear that? Listen. No seriously. It's the sound of typing!

Oh how good it feels to be writing again! For a few months I was in such a hazy fog. Then the other day I picked up the short story I'm working on (unrelated to the current novel) and actually got a decent few pages done! It's not much but it is a start, even if it's not on my main project.

Speaking of the Harrowing, I feel so close to being finished yet so far. I still do not have a cover made, but I've opted out of photoshop, and will instead be taking *actual* photographs. I think that will make the cover have a more natural feel. Organic feel....whatever. More real.

I feel like I've gotten unstuck from a glue trap after being trapped for awhile, and I'm still getting bits of glue off my hands.

I really like analogies.

Anyway it's great to get back to my characters who I have missed dearly. Weird, maybe but I made them, and will continue to allow them to grow and surprise me when I'm least expecting it. That's the great thing about writing; sure you made them, and you created their world, but they start doing things on their own, and things can happen (whether good or bad) that you never saw coming.

So that's where I'm at right now. Slowly inching my way closer and closer to that finish line. Ugh running analogies. I'm not good at running. I've got lots of great things lined for book two *and* three but getting there is the problem. I'm still stuck on Chapter One of book two. But at least it and book three already have titles right?

Monday, November 7, 2011

And the wall came crumbling down

See that? It's a stone wall. It's nice and level on top; the shape of the rocks aren't perfect but they fit together pretty nicely to hold the whole thing up.

And this one? A similar stone wall....falling apart.

Since when did my life come crashing down around me?

How did I end up in this....weird predicament, one I didn't see coming but probably should have. I've never been good at looking too far into the future. I'm more of a here and now kinda girl. I guess I better start fixing that.

My writing has taken a major hit. This is important to me but family problems are more important, and have to be my priority, as hard as that is. Recent events have shaken up my brain and entire way of life.

All I can do is get out some cement and start putting those rocks back together, even if they don't look as nice as they did when the wall was first built.

I'm no constructionist (is that a word?) and I'm not very strong but I have to do the best I can.

I get fulfilment from lots of things, not just from family; yes that's the most important one but I'm allowed to have things I like outside of my home. I think it's healthy to have that kind of escape. I like networking, I like writing, I like talking to people who have similar interests as me and can give me ideas/tip for my writing. I don't have anyone in person who I can really talk to about this kind of stuff, so online I go. Not everyone understands that, and that's okay.

Back to my crumbling stone wall.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

First Kiss

I spent the rest of my afternoon in the Wild Vines Forest. I was not really in the mood for dueling trees as I often was so instead I lied down in the grass and watched the goings on of the trees. I could barely see the splashes of blue sky through the thick leaves, but still the rays of sun managed to shine their way through. The grass was cool, and soft; I felt as though I could sleep for hours. Indeed I must have because when I opened my eyes next the rays of sun had shifted downward. It was not dark but I knew that it was near dinnertime.

I sat up, brushing out a bit of soil from my hair and off my back.

“You seemed so at peace,” said a deep voice. I shot up from the ground, drawing the little dagger I kept in my boot. Wolff Lairveaux put his hands in front of him in defense. “I did not mean to startle you, Princess,” he said slyly. I lowered my dagger and he put his hands at his side.

“What are you doing out here? No one else comes out here.” I was genuinely shocked to see him standing in my glen. How long had he been watching me sleep?

“I told your father I was going back to my estate,” he said, slowly walking nearer to me. “I saw you head in the direction of the forest, and so I made my way here after leaving through your castle’s entrance.”

I put my hands on my hips. “I easily could have guessed as such. I mean, why are you here? I’m afraid I’ve left my weapons in the armory so we cannot have a rematch.”

“Ah, I see. I will consider myself thwarted once again then.” He had been taking small steps in my direction, and suddenly the space between us could have fit a very small person. I took a step back in return but he did not take one forward. “No matter, though,” he said, turning around and facing the gazebo. “This is lovely; the vines, do these grow naturally?” Wolff began circling it, touching his fingers to the intertwining green and brown rope-like vines. “I like what your father has done with it. The pillars are just right in number; the shape of the roof turned out very nice. Your father wanted a square top but I suggested a domed top. And these,” he said, reaching up to the top of a pillar to the right of the entry, touching the carved-out leaves that protruded from the stone, “I suggested these. I thought they would add a natural woodsy feel.” I didn’t say a word; I was not aware that he had helped my father with my gazebo.

He saw me scrutinizing him, and saw my perplexed expression. “It was his idea of course, you being the beautiful young daughter of a great King. I just gave him a few suggestions that would improve its appearance, and hopefully please you. They have pleased you, I assume?”

I didn’t know what to say. “The gazebo pleases me, but more so the thought my father put into it pleases me; your suggestion are of no consequence to me.”

“Is that because you do not like my contributions, or because you do not like me? I cannot possibly believe it is the second.”

“The gazebo is beautiful, Wolff,” I said, making my way closer to him. “I think the domed roof compliments the natural surroundings of the glen, and the carved leaves are an exceptional touch. I spend a lot of time here, in fact.” I was now standing in the little entry of the gazebo on the second step so I could meet his height. Once again the space between us was minimal.

“I am disappointed then. I was so sure…” he trailed off. I realized then that my heart was thrashing in my chest; I thought he could certainly hear it. At that moment he leaned in, put his hand behind my neck and pulled me to his face; his lips met mine and for a moment I was unable to react, but somehow I unfroze myself. Heat radiated from my face throughout my whole body, and I thought I must still be asleep, having a magnificent dream. 

Wolff pulled away and put his mouth to my ear. “Meet me at the edge of my estate, just after dark,” he whispered. He left me standing there as he mounted Vapele; his face was frozen with his usual hard expression. He disappeared into the trees and the sound of galloping faded quickly. I stood in the entry of the gazebo unsure of what had just happened. I did however know one thing—I would have to sneak out of the castle as stealthily as possible in just a few hours.

Monday, October 31, 2011

My favorite holiday!

Today is the holiday I look forward to the most: Halloween aka Samhain. It's my one day to dress like the person I wish I could be for a few hours, drink and dance like a fool (a sexy fool, of course!) So in honor I'd like to present some of my favorite scary movies!

1. Interview with the Vampire. This is actually my favorite movie ever made, and has been since I was twelve (I still had five years to go until I was "old" enough to watch it.) It is (loosely) based off of Anne Rice's novel of the same name. She is also my most favorite author of all time, and I would break down crying if I ever met her.

2. Insidious. I saw this movie recently and it scared the hell out of me, and my boyfriend (he turned on the light!). I *love* genuinely scary movies, not those cheesy dumb remakes with terrible acting. Demons? Check. Scary kid? Check. Family torn apart due to previous? Check. 

3. Haunting in Connecticut. Yet another movie that scared the bejeesus out of me. I thought the story line was unique, and it's not often the haunting is done by creatures that aren't evil. Another kid, another family. Well done and terrifying.

4. Okay this one isn't scary, but it's my favorite zombie movie! Gory, funny and it might make you jump. I just love it.


5. Speaking of zombies, check out Walking Dead, a zombiepocalypse show on AMC. It's gory, scary but has real heart and emotion. I cry almost every episode. That's what makes it so different than most zombie movies, is that you actually care about the people (unlike movies like Dawn of the Dead or Land of the Dead, which are still awesome zombie movies). Season 2 has just started and I highly recommend. 

There you have it! A few of my Halloween movie selections. Of course there's more: The Saw movies are entertaining, Paranormal Activity is good for a few jumps, or you could get some older ones like Blair Witch or The Grudge, if you like to make fun of "scary" movies. Do you have any you like? Let me know!

Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 21, 2011

So close...but so far.

So just this morning I finished the second round of edits for the Harrowing, but I'm *still* not done. Still! I have to format, add a prologue, somehow get a cover made and who knows what other little steps there are. I started writing last year during Christmas break so this has taken me nearly a year. I have two sequels still to write; this is turnng into a very long process. But it's been rewarding; getting to use my imaginatin and creativity is fantastic.

That said *deep breath* here is an excerpt from chapter one. This is the first time I've ever put it online. *cringes* Be gentle.


I was lying awake in bed, unable to sleep, when I heard hushed voices, the stifle of a high-pitched laugh. I listened for a moment but my curiosity overtook me and I got out of bed, putting on my evening robe and stepping into the hall. I held my breath and searched in the darkness. I knew the night guards roamed this area, as all of our bedchambers were in this wing. I heard the whispers again, and I slowly padded forward, avoiding the torches against the wall so as to stay in the darkness.
            The voices were coming from my mother and father’s chamber; it disturbed me considering my father was travelling and not due back for another few days. As I approached, I could hear my mother. The torch behind me, just one of several that lined the corridor, let me see into her doorway. I hid behind a stone pillar, out of sight. My mother stood in her doorway and a shadowy figure was in front of her. His back was to me. He must have been wearing dark clothes and had dark hair because I could see nothing else. He was leaning in close to her face.
            “You must go,” my mother whispered, but her tone indicated she did not really want him to leave. “If you do not, I’ll just want you to come back inside.” Ah, there was the wish.
            “And would that be such a bad thing?” the man asked, his deep voice matching his dark appearance.
            My mother laughed. I normally found her laugh to be rather musical and pleasant, but this was different. It was melted with desire. “Mmmm goodness, no,” she said. Then her face went out of view as the man leaned in and kissed her. When her face reappeared, it was obvious she was staring into his eyes. The expression she wore sickened me. “But you know how it is, and has always been.”
            “I will return then, when the time comes. When you are in need of my company,” the man said.
            “I don’t just need you, you know. I may be lonely without my King here, but you know of my feelings.”
            “Until next time it will be then, my dear. My Queen,” said the man, bowing slightly low. He turned, walking down the hall, and as he did, I caught part of his face; his eyes. The torch gave me enough light to see the pools of ocean in his face.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Getting Closer.

A few nights ago I wrote the last words of the epilogue in the Harrowing. "I wouldn't lose him again." The moment I was finished, I was like, Oh that's it! That's the end! And wasn't. I rewrote the last two paragraphs. And I still felt like it wasn't quite right, but that's what editing is for! Which is where I am now. Each chapter has been edited once, but lightly. Now I'm getting round 2 started and it's a lot more tedious. It's a constant refining, which is good because it helps the story flow better, and make more sense. It keeps the story simple. Or simpler, anyway. Even after this round, I'll do at least one more, then formatting. Then...putting on Amazon as an e-book. Paperback? I'd prefer it, but it costs so much more.

Moving on. My life seems to have gotten in the way of my muse, or the natural flow of the story. I get stuck because I feel like my life gets stuck. I get distracted with school work, relationships, parenting, etc. It's hard to get back on that river once you get off. Or drown. Luckily I've managed to somehow stay afloat but my raft is empty.

Sometimes in life you have to do what you have to do, or what you feel is right despite what others say is right. Listen to that tiny voice. It might be selfish but sometimes I just don't care. I can have the things I want, it doesn't mean I want certain people out of my life. We can do it together. I thought so anyway.

Do everything you can to keep your head above water. Fight for what you want because you are important too. You matter. Don't put up with anything less.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Awards! And A Few Thoughts.

Look look! Aren't these pretty?

I'd like to thank April Denton for giving these to me! She is an expert on everything zombies! Check out her blog and her Facebook! Congrats to her for selling her first book today!

So here's what I do:

1. Thank and link to the person who nominates you 
2. Share seven random facts about you
3. Pass this award to five new blogging friends
4. Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers

1. Done!
2. Seven randoms
(1) I've been a vegetarian since I was 16 (that's 10 years!)
(2) I don't like vegetables (I'm trying to expand...)
(3) I have an innate need to rescue animals, even small things like frogs.
(4) I'm a closet DnD nerd.
(5) The first time I ever drank was when I went to London when I was 18, but it was legal!
(6) I cry at *everything* (movies w/ animals and kids especially, even if it's not sad)
(7) I like to put on my right shoe first.

3. So who am I giving this to? Well...
First of all my friend Carissa Elg! She's such a sweet and smart girl. See her blog and Facebook Author Page.

Second to Leif G. S. Notae. He writes fantastic short stories, and lots of other things! Check them out here.

Third to Andrew Kincaid. He is also a great writer and blogger! See his website and Facebook Author Page and go "like!"

Fourth is to Kendall Grey! She writes urban fantasy and is working on a short story for a horror anthology! Check her out on her website and Facebook Author Page.

Fifth and finally to Saronai! She has a beautiful blog and we both have a love for our pets!

Aaaaand I'm doing one more just because! This one to M. R. Merrick, author of Exiled, which I am currently reading and enjoying! Check out his blog, Facebook and buy his book here!

Whew that was fun!  On to other news.

So something has happened that I was afraid would happen, especially once school started: I'm in a writing slump. Seriously. Normally I have a constant movie of sorts running through my head about what I'm going to write next. Then I'll write it, feel better, and another little movie will pop up, and I'll write get the pattern. The problem is the last few weeks, my brain has been pretty blank. So now when I sit down, determined to write something, *anything,* I only get a couple of paragraphs done, and I don't really even like them. I used to get one to two chapters done per week, and this last one has taken me much, much too long.

I don't know if it's because I'm so close to the end, and I have some sort of anxiety about finishing it, or if it's because I'm running out of steam. I don't think it's the latter because I have lots of ideas for the next book. It's just getting there that is the problem.

Then there are the days where I just want to throw the whole thing away, and turn away from it forever. I feel like it's just a selfish hobby that sometimes takes up too much of my time, taking me away from other more "important" things. You know, like family. Like somehow my writing isn't something that matters, even though it matters to me. It's my own escape from things, it's what I do when/if I have "me" time. I've spent some time agonizing over my story because I don't always have the support that I wish I did. That's where my friends I've met come in, and the people who are genuinely interested in reading it. Seriously if I didn't have you guys, I wouldn't feel like what I'm doing is okay. So what I'm trying to say is....

Thank You!

Yes, YOU.